kickbutt_reality_master: (Crup.)
Finn the Human ([personal profile] kickbutt_reality_master) wrote2013-04-10 11:42 am

(no subject)

[The episode begins with a shot of the Tree Fort during a knife storm.]

Jake: *In the shape of a backhoe/bulldozer, carrying pillows.* Beep beep! Look out! Beep beep! Pillow delivery! Look out buddy! *He drops the pillows on Finn. BMO is mixed in with the pillows and falls out on Finn's head, while CMO falls on BMO.*

Finn: Uuf!

BMO: Uuf!

Finn: Come on, Jake...

Jake: Sorry buddy. *Changes into his normal form.* Just trying to cheer you up some. I mean, here you are, chillin' out with history's coolest friends, building an ACTUAL pillow fort, but you just sit there sulking! I mean, what gives!?

Finn: *Sighs.* I guess I'm just thinking about Flame Princess. I told her a joke the other day, and she didn't even laugh, or anything. Guess it's over between us.

Jake: That's it? A joke?!

BMO: Maybe she just didn't get it yet!

Finn: Yeah right, BMO. More like she used up all her laughs on some other guy's jokes, probably. Man, having a girlfriend is hard.

Jake: NO! Being crazy is hard! You're getting all hung up! All hung up on imaginary problems. You gotta focus on what's real, man. *Grabs a plastic mug.* You see this cup? This is literally my favorite cup. *He throws it out the window.* Now it's gone forever. So it's not real, and I don't care about it anymore.

BMO: *Gasps.* Oh no! My favorite window!

Finn: I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I think I just need some alone time. *Picks up his family sword and his thermos.* Gotta let my mind fester a bit, you know? I'll be back in a little while. *Finn crawls into the pillow fort.*

Jake: Finn! FESTERING'S ALWAYS BAD, MAN! THERE'S NO GOOD KIND OF FESTERING! FIIIIIINN!! *His voice fades as Finn crawls away from him.*

Finn: Man, this looked smaller from the outside. What's this, now? What the?! Jake, what's in here?! Jake? *Finn crawls through a small door and tumbles onto a pile of cushions.*

[The camera shows a panoramic view of Pillow World.]

Finn: Oh, whoa! Did Jake build this part, too? That guy needs some more girlfriends or something. Hey Jake! You need more girlf- *Turns back to the door which has vanished.* What the? Door's gone? Hmm... maybe there's another door in yonder pillow town. I don't get this at all.

[Screaming is heard from the distance.]

Pillow children: Dragon!! Run!

Finn: Huh?

Pillow kid: *Runs into Finn's leg.* Oof! He, mista, you betta get runnin'! Bwanket dwagon!

Finn: Now, this I understand! AAAAHHHH! *Finn starts fighting the dragon and slits the creature's throat. Feathers fly out, and the dragon collapses into a pile of pillows and blankets.*

Finn: *Nudges the dragon's head with his sword.* Whoa, that's it?

Pillow kid: Whoa.

Pillow people: *Cheering.*

Finn: Hey, uh how's it going?

Quilten: Puhoy, there! I am Quilten, son of Pillowford, and you have saved our village! You and your sharp pillow.

Finn: Haha, it's nothing. I kill things all the time.

Quilten: Oh, nonsense! This calls for a cele-pillow-bration!

Pillow people: *Cheering, they hoist Finn up and carry him away.*

[The scene changes into a party at night, with pillow people hanging a banner that reads, "THANK YOU NEW FLESH PILLOW!" While Finn is seen wearing a sash that says "Best Pillow", he makes a sad little face and goes to sit behind a pile of pillows.]

Finn: *Sighs.*

Roselinen: There you are, Finn the Human.

Finn: Oh, hey there... um, you can just call me Finn, if you want.

Roselinen: All right, Finn. My name is Roselinen, daughter of Quilten. You have to call me the whole thing.

Finn: Oh, uh...

Roselinen: Just kidding!

Finn: Heh. Oh, uh, your dad seems fun.

Oh, ha ha, oh my! Huzzah!

Roselinen: *Laughs.* Yeah. Um, you wanna dance?

Finn: Oh, well... I have a girlfriend.

Roselinen: *Laughs.* Dummy, it's a dance! Not marriage.

Finn: *Laughs.* Yeah, okay. *The pillow bird poops little pillowcases on Finn's shoulder.* This place is weird. *Finn and Roselinen move to the dance floor.*

Roselinen: Are you telling me that birds in your world don't poo little pillowcases?

Finn: Nah, just... regular poo.

Roselinen: Hey, like this. *She grabs his hand, then places it on her hip, which sinks down into her body a little, and they start to dance.*

Finn: Uh, yeah, it's really cool. Where I come from, I live with my friend, who's my brother. And he's a dog, heh. We fight stuff! It's cool. It's really different than here. I mean, where I'm from, blankets and pillows are used for bedding.

Roselinen: *Laughs and wiggles an eyebrow suggestively.* Well they're used for that here, too.

Finn: *Blushes and laughs nervously.*

Quilten: Whoo ooh hoo hoo! Delightful.

Finn: Ah man, it's been nice, Roselinen. But I gotta get back to my home. *Goes to Quilten.* Quilten, I need your help to find a portal to my home world.

Quilten: Of course, we will do our best to help you, Finn the Flesh Pillow. But you're not making a fold of sense! *A pillow person presents an assortment of pillow donuts.* Please, share our food. You need nourishment.

Finn: *Chews one, making "om nom nom" sounds, then speaks in a muffled voice.* It tastes... like... a pillow.

Quilten: I'll give your compliments to the pillow.

[The scene shows the pillow chef waving, then it goes back to where Jake and BMO are, and Jake uses a fishing pole to retrieve his favorite cup from where he threw it through the window.]

BMO: Oh, there you are! You found your mug. I thought you said you didn't care!

Jake: *Sips from the cup.*

BMO: That mug is empty.

Jake: I wonder what Finn's up to.

[The scene returns to Pillow World.]

Jay: *Dressed up like a dragon.* Rawr! I'm the blanket dragon!

Bonnie: *Wearing a hat like Finn's.* Well, I'm daddy! SHAPOW! *Hits her brother with a pillow sword.*

Roselinen: Jay, Bonnie. I bet your dad's just about finished chopping wool. You guys wanna bring him his lunch?

Jay and Bonnie: Yes!

Finn: *Chopping pillow trees with his sword as an adult, he laughs after the tree bounces off of a pillow sheep.* Alphanumeric! Pillow sheep, you have more fluff than sense! *Kisses the sheep, then kicks it in the butt.*

Jay and Bonnie: Daddy!

Finn: *Laughs heartily.* Oh! What is this! *Picks Bonnie up, tosses her in the air, and catches her.* A pack of fearsome pillow goblins?

Bonnie: Daddy, we're your kids!

Roselinen: Psst, Finn. They've brought you lunch.

Finn: Oh they have, have they? Tiny pillows. Mmm. Mm mm mm.

Jay: *Laughs.*

Finn: Darling, you've outdone yourself.

[Quilten is seen driving up, making honking sounds with his mouth.]

Jay and Bonnie: Grandpillow!

What's my father doing here?

Quilten: Puhoy!

Jay and Bonnie: Grandpillow!

Quilten: Oh oh oh, come here! *Hugs the kids.* Oh, but I've come to speak with your father.

Finn: What is it, Quilten?

Quilten: When you first arrived here, you told us about a mysterious door that led you to our world.

Finn: Yes, of course.

Quilten: Archaeologists found this in the Pillow Catacombs. *Shows the book to Finn.* The Pillownomicon.

Finn: Oh my glob.

Quilten: There is no information about the door, save for the fact it shows up periodically and then disappears.

Finn: Quilten, I need to find that door.

[The returns to the tree fort and shows BMO and Jake's favorite cup are both wearing rainbow-colored afro wigs.]

Jake: Uh, hey BMO. I gotta snag my mug from you. *Removes the wig then puts it on BMO's wig*

BMO: Oh... really?

Jake: Hey no don't sweat it, I'll make us some hot chocolate.

BMO: Jake, you drive a hard burger!

[Then scene returns to Pillow World.]

Finn: *Looking older than his last appearance, his beard now grey and right arm replaced with a pillow-ish robotic claw, he walks into a tent.* Hello?

Rasheeta: Ah yes, come in.

Finn: Are these The Great Abracadabra Mountains? And are you Rasheeta the Great Oracle, dweller of said mountains?

Rasheeta: Yes! And you must be Finn the Human Man, seeker of the wandering portal.

Finn: Yes! Yes, I-I've searched for decades! How did you know?

Rasheeta: I've read it in the Tea Leaves. *Shows Finn a newspaper calls "The Tea Leaves".* This newspaper I found from the future.

Finn: Does it say how I get home?

Rasheeta: The real question is, are you sure you want to?

Finn: Uh, YEAH!

Rasheeta: Well, don't worry. You won't be here long. *Farts.*

Finn: So there is another way to...

Rasheeta: Not long now. *Farts again.*

Finn: *Coughing from the stench of Rasheeta's farting as he exits the tent.*

Bonnie: Father?

Jay: What did the oracle say, father? Have we come to the right spot finally?

Finn: I think so, but the oracle spoke in riddles. *Strokes his beard.* Gonna have to fester on this one for a bit, I...

Roselinen: Oh, Finn. I know you have to go. All these years I've known, but now that it's time... oh man, I'm just all messed up about it. Just promise me you'll remember us, when you're back in your real life.

Finn: Hmm... that, reminds me Roselinen, of something Jake told me just before I came to this world.

[The scene shows a flashback of Jake when he was explaining that he needs to deal with his problems with Flame Princess, though Jake both looks and sounds different.]

Jake: You're getting all hung up on imaginary problems! Stay with your new wife! You've known her longer now than any of us! You're not even sure I ever really existed! And I'm pretty sure I didn't look like this!

Finn: Man, how did he see it all coming so clearly? Come on, everyone. Pack your things, we're going home.

[The scene then shows the Tree Fort where Jake is tossing BMO in the air and catching him.]

BMO: *Laughing* Goodness, Jake! Why don't you do this with your other babies?

Jake: Well, rainicorn babies age rapidly. They don't need their parents a couple hours after they're born.

That really stinks, huh?

*Makes a very sad face.* Mmmmmm!

*Hears an oven timer ding nearby.* Hot chocolate is ready!

[The scene goes to Pillow World again. Finn is extremely old and is on his deathbed.]

Roselinen: Finn...? Finn.

Finn: Wh-what?

Roselinen: Are you comfortable?

Finn: I'm alright.

Bonnie: *Crying.* Um, dad... dad! We just wanted to say that we-- *Loses her composure and starts crying.*

Jay: That... we love you dad.

Finn: I remember... back... when I was dad.

Jay: *Sighs.* Dad, you ARE dad.

I AIN'T DEAD YET! Oh, no wait! Here it comes! *Finn's field of vision goes into a kaleidoscope pattern, then darkens.* Ohhhh! Ooh hoo hoo, boy! *Finn flies through the darkness, over a strange red creature, then suddenly finds himself popping out of Jake's pillow fort and back into the Tree House.*

Jake: Hey buddy, you feeling better already?

Huh? Oh, I don't know man. I just had the number one most wildest dream!


Yeah! I was g-- *His phone starts to ring, and he answers it.* Hello? Oh, hey! Oh, hahaha! Yeah, thanks! Yeah, okay. Bye. *Hangs up the phone.* That was Flame Princess. She said she didn't get my joke until just now, and that it's really funny and awesome!

BMO: Haha! I knew it!

Jake: Yeah, that's great man. Now what about this dream?

Finn: What dream?

Jake: The dream you were just talking about.

Finn: Huh?

Jake: Just a second ago!

Finn: *Shrugs.*

Jake: The dream you just had in the pillow fort!

Finn: *Blows a raspberry.*


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